I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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