she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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