Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
