Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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