Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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