come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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