So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
