Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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