well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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