I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
