Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
