I'm really into asian looking animals
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
