Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
