I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
