Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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