whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize