I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
