I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
