Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
