I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
