Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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