I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
