Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
