BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
