they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
