We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
