when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize