you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
