I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
