Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
