my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
