All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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