it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
