are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
