A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
