I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
