It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
