Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
