I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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