Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
