Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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