are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
