i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
