I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
