Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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