am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
