this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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