this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
