super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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