Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
