make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
