Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
