Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
