Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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