How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
