Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
