woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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