I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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