Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
