bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
