you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize