Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
