I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
