I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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