I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize