Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
