How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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